97. Luxury Travel on Sea Cloud Yacht Cruises: My Nightmare Cruise Review!

A Sea Cloud Yacht Cruise is rumored to be one of the best luxury travel experiences at sea. But, that was NOT my experience! In this episode, I'm breaking down the cruise experience that claims the #1 spot as the worst cruise of my life. If you're debating whether or not Sea Cloud is worth it and is a good vacation choice for you, be sure to tune in first so that you know what you're signing up for! 

Mentioned in this episode:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marjorie_Merriweather_Post

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This episode was produced by The Podcast Teacher: www.ThePodcastTeacher.com. 

Transcript

Hello, jetsetters, and welcome to another episode of jetsetting with me. Today, I am going to tell you all about my Sea Cloud vacation. I am spilling the tea on whether this luxury vacation is worth all that money or maybe not. But really quickly, before I go there, this is episode 97. Three more weeks. Just three more weeks, and you can stay tuned for episode number 100, a very special episode. I am going to put myself on the hot seat, and you will get to hear me get interviewed. I'm sure someone's gonna ask me about my bucket destination, my favorite trip, so you'll get to hear all those answers and even more.

And there are some giveaways that are happening, and you can win them if you register at the link below or the link in the show notes. You all know where to find it. And now let's get right to it. So I have just returned from my worst cruise ever. That's right. I said it. I'm going there. My worst cruise ever.

Now people who cruise even much more than I, they practically live on ships, they will tell you that every tenth cruise is less than. So that could mean less than ideal, less than the best one they ever had, or less than weather wise, or just less than, fill in the blank. And I have to say that in my experience, that has actually held up. So the very first time, it was out of Houston. It's on apprenticeship, and they don't even use that port anymore because of all the trouble that we had with it. So we left the port late. We had to skip a port later on in the trip, and they have actually quit using that port again because it was so cantankerous. And it actually led to much more of an incredible princess experience later that same summer because in order to avoid all the issues that we had, like taking too long for disembarkation at the different ports and incredible lines and less van dining, we ended up upgrading ourselves to a concierge level and had one of the best cruise experiences ever in The Baltics.

Now, the second time, I learned not to go on a brand new cruise line too soon after it launches. Let them get the kinks out on someone else. For example, remembering to put skirt hangers in the closet, and knowing the difference between shampoo and conditioner. So spoiler alert, that was actually on my very first version Voyage, which has since become my favorite choice for premium cruising. And this time, the only lesson I can glean is to be careful what you wish for, because you just might get it. I was on the Sea Cloud, which was built ninety years ago as a private luxury yacht. Marjorie Meriwether Post was able to give free rein to her imagination as she built her private yacht. It was launched in Kiel, Germany way back in 1931.

Marjorie Post was an American businesswoman. She was a socialite. She was a philanthropist. She was the only child of CW Post. That name might sound familiar to you if you are a breakfast cereal fan. And following her father's death in 1914, she became the owner of the rapidly growing Postum Cereal Company, which is now known as General Mills. She inherited a $20,000,000 fortune. That's back in 1914, folks.

A $20,000,000 fortune. And for much of her life, she was actually known as the wealthiest woman in The United States. And she is a fascinating woman, and I actually left a link to her Wikipedia page in the show description. It was really interesting history lesson. She owned several properties of distinction, including the now presidential estate, Mar A Lago, and the Sea Cloud, this yacht that she personally designed and built. And, at the time, it was the largest privately owned seagoing yacht in the world. And, now that you know the history, you might have a clue why I should have been careful what I wished for. A 90 year old yacht doesn't have modern day shipboard technology.

Now you heard me mention there was no app, but that was minor compared to the lacking stabilizers. That's right. We were tossed and turned in the Atlantic Ocean for seven days of our cruise, which was seven days long. It resulted in me spending an inordinate amount of time in my cabin, which also didn't have the luxury of a balcony, which meant my choices were to sit in fresh air outside the cabin, where I could see the waves crashing against the bow and watch the ship rock, or I could lie horizontal in my bed with my eyes closed and be rocked to sleep. I chose that one, which made my normal cruise routine of waking early and sitting outside to watch the sunrise with my cappuccino or my latte a near impossibility. Another fixture of history, men and women did not sleep in the same bedrooms, much less the same beds. So mister jet sitting with me and I were relegated to a room with two twin beds, which were separated by an end table bolted to the ground. Now we did later learn that very few of the cabins have twin beds that are actually pushed together for anyone who might wanna snuggle with their partner.

But to say our room was the smallest we've ever had on any cruise, and that includes the Carnival cruise I did when I was 21, would not be exaggerating. Now there were a few areas where the Sea Cloud did excel, and one is the crew to passenger ratio. There were 61 crew for a ship that holds 62 passengers. On and on our sailing, clearly, the memo about the weather got out to other people because we only had 40 on our crews. So basically, we had more crew than we had passengers. But even on a normal sailing, there's one crew person for every passenger, ensuring luxury service for all the food and beverage components on board and even the offshore beach picnic, which I will get to. The hotel team is headed by a man from Poland named Simon, who has been on the yacht for forty years. He wrote a book of his tales, and he does have an inappropriate sense of humor for the modern day, making comments about women and their features and their prettiness, or lack thereof.

And I definitely had to practice my patience, and put forgiveness for the past, and just release my judgment of all of those things. The captain failed to be present and mix among us, the passengers, which according to former Sea Cloud passengers, or I should say, Sea Cloud passengers who this wasn't their first cruise said former captains were always visible and seen. Our captain seemed to feel ill at ease, and on the two evenings he was actually supposed to mingle with us, he was very quick in and out at the captain's happy hours. Now cruise director Tanya is to be applauded. She more than made up for the captain's standoffish attitude. She paid personal attention to each and every one of us as she translated everything into both German, since 50% of the passengers were of German speaking language and English for the other 50% of us. She even walked some of us to our taxis to make sure that the taxi drivers knew where we were going. I mean, she knew all of us by name, and she knew what our every wish and desire was that she could fulfill those.

For example, my massage. My favorite part of the experience was definitely the dining. It was extravagant. It was luxurious. It was truly five star dining all the way. It was led by Maitre d Joseph, or Joe, from Orlando, Florida, and he went to an SEC school, that would be Bama, who I just quickly bonded with. Although, I can't say I always felt well enough to indulge in the fabulous food, it was always plated exquisitely, and I definitely have those photos on Instagram. Finally, there's the excursions.

And so this is where I just have a basic come see come saw experience. You know all that talk about how smaller ships can enter ports that larger ships can't, it's usually a selling point for those smaller ships. Well, first of all, we didn't actually enter any ports at all. We tendered at all of them. And for you fellow below deck sailing yacht fans, that means we were actually on anchor the entire time, and the only time we were a % stable and not moving was while we were on land. So let's talk about those smaller ports we got into. There's actually not always a lot of activity in those smaller ports, and they're definitely not as picturesque. For example, in Saint Lucia, where I was definitely looking forward to going purse shopping, it is, after all, a French island, and I couldn't wait to shop for duty free purses.

I definitely had my eye picked out on the Neverfull. Well, the shops are in Fort Of Frederick, which is the larger port in Saint Lucia. Now there were beautiful gardens, there were waterfalls, there were beach clubs that the sea cloud made sure we had access to at all of the ports, and they were definitely less crowded than the bigger ports. I found myself not finding enough to keep me ashore for more than a few hours at a time. One port that was a complete surprise was where we had our beach barbecue. Now hold on while I say this because this is exciting. I went to a Soho house. That's right.

I got to go to a spa and get a massage at the Soho house. Yes. I channeled my inner Duchess of Sussex. And if you know what that means, you know. For being a beach picnic, it was still the most luxurious five star beach picnic I've ever had. Yes. Cookies on, Castaway Cay doesn't even rank. It was served to us first by waiters, and then it was left on our table for family style, and it did not stop coming.

We had chicken. We had steak. We had sausage, two kinds. We had ceviche. We had salads, and that's salads with an s as in noodle salad, traditional salad, Caesar salad, vegetables. You name it, we had it. They even grilled lobster tails. The view of the ocean, and we could even see our yacht was amazing.

The beach bed cabanas were reserved solely for our use. It was a true experience. But weighing it all out, I'm really not sure it makes up for the whole week being the, quote, worst cruise I've ever had. Now I am curious if ships which aren't quite so historical might have better stabilizers and steering, like perhaps a windjammer or a below deck sailing yacht or even the Sea Cloud two. But I don't think I'm brave enough to ever try it. I will definitely stick to non sail cruising in the future. Until next time, jetsetters. Safe travels.